The Puffin Book of Funny Stories by The Puffin Book of Funny Stories (epub)

Author:The Puffin Book of Funny Stories (epub)
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780241434741
Publisher: Penguin Random House Children's UK
Published: 2021-02-18T00:00:00+00:00

from Charlie Changes Into a Chicken

by Sam Copeland

Illustrated by Sarah Horne

Charlie McGuffin has an incredible secret – he can change into animals. Trouble is, he never knows when it’s going to happen …

‘SO … YOU’RE like Spider-Man?’ Flora said, frowning seriously. They were all sitting in the playground in a huddle near the wooden climbing frame.

‘No!’ answered Charlie, slapping his forehead. ‘We’ve been through this already. I was nothing like Spider-Man. I was a spider. I turned into a spider.’

‘Hmm,’ replied Flora, deep in thought. ‘And you’re sure you weren’t dreaming?’

‘Of course I’m sure!’ Charlie said, clearly exasperated. ‘I was nearly eaten by Chairman Meow!’

‘And this happened after you got back from hospital? From visiting your brother?’

‘Yes! Straight after.’

‘Hmm.’ Flora rubbed her chin, thinking hard. ‘Hmm.’

‘What does “hmm” mean?’

‘It’s a noise people make when they’re thinking,’ Flora said in a do-you-really-not-know-that voice. ‘Have you never heard someone say –’

‘Yes, I know what “hmm” actually means. I meant, what did you mean when you hmmed. You hmmed twice.’

‘Oh! I see. Well,’ Flora replied, a knowing look on her face, ‘I think I know what caused this.’

‘You do?’ Mohsen said, wide-eyed. Mohsen was often wide-eyed.

‘You do?’ said Wogan, normal-eyed.

‘You do?’ asked Charlie, narrow-eyed.

Basically there was a lot of eye action going on.

‘I do. It’s obvious.’

‘OK then, Miss Smarty-pants, what’s going on?’ Mohsen said, crossing his arms.

‘So, Charlie, you changed into a spider straight after you were at the hospital, correct?’

Charlie nodded. ‘Yup.’

‘Well … I think maybe when you went to see your brother you sat on a needle and accidentally injected your bum with some sort of crazy medicine.’

‘I sat on a –? I think I would have noticed if I sat on a needle and injected my bum with crazy medicine!’

‘Not necessarily,’ Mohsen said gravely. ‘I once had an injection on my bum and I hardly felt it.’

‘Exactly!’ Flora thumped her palm.

‘That’s completely crazy!’ Charlie shouted in disbelief.

‘No more crazy than turning into a spider,’ Flora said quickly.

Wogan and Mohsen nodded solemnly in agreement.

‘OK, tell me one thing.’ Charlie held up a finger to illustrate his point. ‘Just tell me one thing … WHY WOULD A HOSPITAL HAVE CRAZY MEDICINE THAT TURNS PEOPLE INTO SPIDERS?’

This question was met with silence.

‘He has a point,’ said Mohsen.

‘Maybe …’ said Wogan. ‘Maybe it was medicine that was supposed to turn spiders into people and – actually, forget that.’

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